Tuesday, August 08, 2006

What is Animal Kingdom???

No matter how much you hate
No matter how much you ignore
If he/she still make you feel warm
Celebrate everyday as "Friendship Day".


This is a recap by Animal demand. For those who found it boring to go all the way back and read my earlier posts; this is why you are reading this. Also, what could have be a better way of bringing up my 50th post... Yippie.... I have reached the magical number "Pacchass Posts..." I never thought I could get this far... But thanks all my friends I have...

This post is also dedicated to our dear Kandu on the auspicious occasion of his Birthday... An exclusive song I have written for him...

Hum bhi agar Kandu Hote...
Hum bhi agar Kandu Hote...
Naam hamara hota Fundoo Paandu...
Aur Khaane ko milte Ladoo...
Aur Duniya Kehti...
Happy Birthday Kandu...


Who are WE??? And why do WE call ourselves the Animal Kingdom??? Well, "WE" comprises of all the names listed below.

This Animal Kingdom also known as Kingdom Animalia consists of 15 endangered species. Each specie is one of a kind. Though all of them show different characteristics, they show a tendency to stay together. All of them can be found in groups. The most amazing fact about this kingdom is that there are no territory fights reported between them. Scientific studies have proved that each of the specie is very unique.

Though there is less interaction of some species at the present but still they are in constant touch with each other. Some of the species still meet on weekends and have a great time. For more information on each of these species read the classification below. These species can be spotted anywhere in Mumbai or sometimes near any tourist spots in India. Read further to find more about them.

Note: All the information given is true to the best of our knowledge. We reserve all the rights for the information provided. Reproduction of this data by any means is strictly prohibited. Do so at your own risk.

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GENUS: Abhijit

AKA: Good Boy, Shahrukh

Likes to call himself as: Ssssharukh

MOST USED LINE: “Abbe aye…”

TRAITS: Only calls up for any computer related issues (I and Anna are his trouble shooting engineers)
Impresses gals with his blue eyes

SPOTTED: In Yahoo Chat Rooms flirting away to glory

ACHIEVEMENTS: Hmmm... I am thinking...

Our Vision After 10 Years: Acting in a film as a duplicate of Ssshrukh Khan

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GENUS: Ali


AKA: Salli, Bulli, Chulbulli and rarely Sheikh Chilli

Likes to call himself as: John Abraham

MOST USED LINE: “Vikhroli Gaon nahi hai”

TRAITS: Slender and heighted like a Bamboo
Likes to enquire about others girl friends
Eager to switch his current job but scared of his mentor Mr. Gala
Likes to take Panga with Rehan (only when he is not around) Uske saamne Bolti Bandh
Master in changing topics and a good actor of "THINKER
"
Inventor of a new language which starts with S... Saddi, Sasma, Sesky
Fragile and delicate body (Please handle with care)
Official Bakra of the group
Likes to brag in company of girls (For more info contact Manager)
Sweet talker when he wants any info about a girl

SPOTTED : Vikhroli ki Galiyon mein and Mulund ki Waadiyon mein

ACHIEVEMENTS: Still survives after being tormented and subjected to third degree torture from the group.

Our Vision After 10 Years: Still trying to figure out how did Manager impress so many girls

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GENUS: Ameya

AKA: Thakur, Manager

Likes to call himself as: Arjun Rampal (Do you remember the fashion show—Jaan Leva?)

MOST USED LINE: “Sorry Yaar…..” (In Amrikan accent) and Bhendi

TRAITS: Is the common link between the guys and gals (Mandwali Badshah)
Believes in saying Sorry and ending all grudges
Was the unofficial stud of the college (Hope the gals agree…)
King of Taang Dena- only for guys (Calls up at the last moment to say he is unavailable)

SPOTTED: NY ke sadkon pe eyeing Firangi babes (Sorry Kandu)

ACHIEVEMENTS: Managed to solve the ‘misunderstandings’ between the guys and gals

Our Vision After 10 Years: Author of the best selling book “Managing Gals made easy by Thakur”

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GENUS: Amit

AKA: Prod, Bawa, Nature Boy, Naik Naik and Kamzor Kali

Likes to call himself as: Devgan

MOST USED LINE: “Oh Shit”

TRAITS: The delicate darling of the group (Hence Kamzor Kali)
Single handedly cut a 7 lever Godrej lock with a hack saw blade in just under 15 minutes
Requires thorough ventilation for survival (Needs all the windows open at night)
Stares at any girl with mouth wide open till she is out of sight
Defines Babe as any object which even remotely looks like a girl (Even aunties qualify)

SPOTTED: Trying hard to decipher the coding language in Patni (Somebody please give him a welding job instead)

ACHIEVEMENTS: Inspite being from the Production field (who have never seen computers), managed to find an IT job for himself – Proved that Computers is very easy.

Our Vision After 10 Years: U-shaped Hacksaw Blade Baron and a big name in the market for inventing the U-Shaped Hacksaw blades for unlocking the computer

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GENUS: Anil

AKA: Jhurani, Jumanji

Likes to call himself as: ----

MOST USED LINE: “Bus kya yaar…”

TRAITS: Receding hairline and exceeding paunch (Beer belly) makes him a balanced gentleman Believes in ordering something different from the group (Learnt a lesson doing so)
Fond of Aloos (Potatoes in any form)
Smuggled a pressure cooker full of Pappads to New Zealand

SPOTTED: NA (This specie was last seen at the Mumbai International Airport last year when he was flying to New Zealand)

ACHIEVEMENTS: Undisputed champion of ‘Mind Games’

Our vision after 10 years: Married to the most beautiful girl in New Zealand

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GENUS: Arun

AKA: Kandu, Kandu and Kandu

Likes to call himself as: Arun (To keep himself reminding of his REAL name)

MOST USED LINE: “Mera naya joke suno…”

TRAITS: Inventor of the worst Bakwaas suicidal PJs
Host of many get togethers at his infamous "Hotel Kandu International"
Cannot resist the sight of water. Strips down to minimum when he sights the beach.
Insists on listening to interesting stories at night
Works out with bricks and stones if no gym is unavailable
His spiky hair which is erect in the morning start drooping by the time the sun sets making him prone to asking Baburao type questions
Always lies to his Appa when going out on a trip (Alibaug and Goa included). Instead gives the most Ghatiya reasons like I am going on a college trip
Cannot take any crap about his very good and dear friend Thakur

SPOTTED: Playing imaginary soccer matches on Sunday. This specie will soon be spotted in NY from Monday with his Pati Parmeshwar Thakur.

ACHIEVEMENTS: Undisputed champ of Bakwaas PJs

Our vision after 10 years: Still trying to convince people to hear his PJS

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GENUS: Atul

AKA: Gassey, Professor

Likes to call himself as: Dexter

MOST USED LINE: “Linux yeah hai….. Linux woh hai” (Our question: “Tu Kaun Hai???”)

TRAITS: Most hyperactive
At the center of all plans
Possesses the capability of bombarding the surroundings at will (Demo seen in Goa)
Extremely loyal to any brand that he uses
Likes to talk technical stuff (which goes over our head)
Likes to hate Bill Gates and all his inventions
Engaging people in childish activities
Immensely talented and has the potential to confuse the best of the scholars or IITians around (NASA please note)

SPOTTED: Teaching Linux to people older than him

ACHIEVEMENTS: Has won every technical debate till date (Undisputed champ)

Our vision after 10 years: Inventor of a new Operating System which wont be user-friendly at all

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GENUS: Cedric

AKA: Shatru, shot Gun

Likes to call himself as: Gillespie

MOST USED LINE: “...”

TRAITS: Doesn’t like to share his chewing gums unless you are his really close friend
Rarely seen without a cap
Honest guy who doesn't like to cheat (Yeh baat alag hai... once he gave his full semester on chits) but the next semester... he cleared 12 papers in one go without any help (Ab toh Khush mere bhai??)

SPOTTED: Chewing gum with a cap on his head

ACHIEVEMENTS: Holds the distinction of carrying the most number of chits (142) in the engineering examination hall complete with index and page number for each chit

Our vision after 10 years: Honored by Wrigleys Chewing gum for eating its 1,0000000000th gum

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GENUS: Deepika

AKA: Bhabhi (I hope you don't mind...) Waise bhi you should have a mind to mind

Likes to call himself as: Deeeeeeeepkia (Note: 8 'e's to be inserted between D and P),
Kameeeeeeeeni (Note: 8 E's again)

MOST USED LINE: "Main tum ladko ke saath tiki hoon yeh kitni badi baat hai..."

TRAITS: Warm hearted, friendly, enthusiastic, energetic, enigma (Just added thse words to make her feel better) Now for the truth...
Pesters you until her things get done... (Even my former manager was better...)
Thodi si Senti aur poori Menti hai... hohohoDoston ki Dost Aur Dushmano ki Dushman.... ;-)

SPOTTED: Online 24/7 checking the Scrap Book.... Khud ka nahi re....

ACHIEVEMENTS: The last girl standing in the Animal Kingdom even though all are great Kameenas

Our vision after 10 years: Married to her DREAM MAN... (Should I name him... Should I name him not.... Ek Ladke ka Dil... I mean bahut se ladkon ka Dil Toot Jayega...... heheh)

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GENUS: Denzil

AKA: Denzi, Pao

Likes to call himself as: Devil, Roberto Pawlo

MOST USED LINE: “Chalega...”

TRAITS: “Chehre pe mat jaao..Apni aakal lagaao”. Looks innocent but far from being so.
Got those mischievous look in his eyes… (Gals say so…)
Always up to something… got an answer to every damn question…always a funny one…

SPOTTED: Working HARD in Accenture

ACHIEVEMENTS: Cleared Mechanics I and II in 5 attempts each (Now…. Isn’t that a great achievement?)

Our vision after 10 years: Making sine waves in the Telecommunication World

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GENUS: Glen

AKA: Bababusa, Glen baba

Likes to call himself as: Shiamak

MOST USED LINE: “I still love her”

TRAITS: Spending hours on the phone telling his love story
Adding others Orkut friends (read girls) to his friends list by telling them – I am Denzil’s friend. Gals be careful
Proclaims to each and everyone that he loves only one girl (Won't name her though...)

SPOTTED: Gyrating to Ganesh Hegde’s moves in Shiamak’s dance classes

ACHIEVEMENTS: Managed to impress his Office Crowd with his Hrithik moves in an Office Festival

Our vision after 10 years: Choreographing a Bollywood song for Hrithik or Govinda with all those jhatka matkas and aada teda moves

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GENUS: Manpreet

AKA: Sardar… Only Sardar and sometimes Bobby (Deol not Darling) *wink*

Likes to call himself as: Wasim Akram

MOST USED LINE: Hahahahahah (Doesn’t talk… Only laughs)

TRAITS: Believes in childish activities like pushing and running (Lately escaped public dhulai when he collided into an aunty while doing so)
Goes on a rampage if someone talks aisa waisa about his hmmm… Girl Friend

SPOTTED: Driving his OMNI and evading cattle in the villages of Khar

ACHIEVEMENTS: NIL (If he succeeds in behaving like a grown up that will be an achievement in itself).

Our vision after 10 years: Married (love or arranged can’t say) to some girl and pushing his kids and running around the house

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GENUS: Naveen

AKA: Navandi (derived from Suppandi), Connecting & Builder

Likes to call himself as: Builder

MOST USED LINE: “I’m the man of the moment”

TRAITS: Please give him some time to connect before u expect an answer from him...
Loves to see himself in every picture clicked
Loves admiring his body in front of the mirror for hours
Is the only fitness freak in the group…
Has very good biceps and is currently working on 6 pack abs…

SPOTTED: Doing his second set of crunches in his gym

ACHIEVEMENTS: Gals in a better position to answer this one.

Our vision after 10 years: Having a ‘V’ shaped body with 6 pack abs and 21” biceps (Most likely within a year)

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GENUS: Nirav

AKA: Gala

Likes to call himself as: Gala

MOST USED LINE: “Paise ka mat soch…” (Even though he does)

TRAITS: Believes in Money is everything (Sold Old College Files right from the College Labs and then sold off the inside papers to the Raddiwala)
Gutsy guy who takes all the risks for a friend (Anna would agree)
Cannot express himself when in excited state
Can't resist gals in any form (Poora Ladkiyon ka Deewana)

SPOTTED: Practicing his management skills in Ahmedabad

ACHIEVEMENTS: Managed to impress a gal in 2 days flat (Can’t give away the details)

Our vision after 10 years: Ahmedabad ki logon ki seva karnewala Chief Minister

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GENUS: Parag

AKA: Ambani, Parya, Bharat Shah

Likes to call himself as: Software Developer

MOST USED LINE: “Bahar Jaana Hai Yaar…”

TRAITS: Ali ki Maarna… (Doesn’t everyone just love doing this???)
Possessive about his hair (Closes all the windows of the train when traveling to avoid messing his hair by the wind)
Always seen in designer clothes even if he is going for some classes
Loves Mulund more than his motherland
Is a very Safe driver even on the tough Mumbai streets. Follows Traffic Rules to the T.

SPOTTED: Attending some software classes or a meeting

ACHIEVEMENTS: Overtook a BEST bus in his Maruti 800 cramped with 7 people on the way to Juhu

Our vision after 10 years: Owning the 51% stakes of Reliance and posing for the camera like the late Mr. Dhirubhai with his chin under his fingers

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GENUS: Prashant

AKA: Officer, Public

Likes to call himself as: Uncle

MOST USED LINE: “Chal be.....”

TRAITS: Has this uncanny knack of uttering the most pakao PJ’s at the wrong time (When gals are around)
Tries to be the best photographer around (He seriously needs training in photography)
Loses his senses upon sighting a gal (Now with guys all around him in the army… God forbid kya hoga???)
Has driven the car on footpaths and dividers without killing any pedestrians (An immensely talented Night Driver) – Salman are you listening???

SPOTTED: Undergoing training at the Army Camp in Delhi

ACHIEVEMENTS: Proved physically fit by the Indian Army even with his knee cap, appendix, irregular heart beat and lower back problem

Our vision after 10 years: Sporting a thick mustache with 12 medals on his chest and starting his each and every sentence with… “In 2007, when I was in the Indian Army…”

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GENUS: Pritam

AKA: Pakya

Likes to call himself as: Johnny Bravo, Playboy

Most used line: “Haan Kya?”

TRAITS: Has immense talent in impressing gals over the phone (Also tried other communication methods like messenger but was unsuccessful)
Is the undisputed GURU of Mumbaiya (Punter) language {Tapri, naka, gacchhi, chito chat and the long list continues……..}
Invents best one-liners you can ever come across
Summons waiters by clapping his hands like the good old Nawabs
Knows no area outside Dombivli

SPOTTED: Wearing the Skeleton Tantra T-Shirts at tapris or nakas of Dombivli

ACHIEVEMENTS: He has done it all… seen it all…

Our vision after 10 years: Happily married to an only daughter of a rich businessman

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GENUS: Rehan

AKA: Jaanwar, Ravaan

Likes to call himself as: Salman

MOST USED LINE: “Teri maa ki…”

TRAITS: A strong believer of ‘Action speaks louder than Words’ (Laaton ke bhoot baaton se nahi maante)
This belief gets stronger when it comes to Ali.
Always gets his work done…by gaali or by Ali
Is the official Poongi Bajaoer of the group (Holds the Group Record for the most Poongis of Ali)

SPOTTED: Near Bandstand or anywhere near Reclamation (Note: Can also be seen in places where there is utter chaos)

ACHIEVEMENTS: ENGINEER (Rehan Bhai Engineer)

Our vision after 10 years: Hired by an international call center to collect dues from defaulters (Can use his uncensored language)

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GENUS: Sanjeet

AKA: Bhaiya and Woh (From Pati Patni and Woh fame)

Likes to call himself as: --- (He doesn't get the chance to call himself anything. We just don't let him speak)

MOST USED LINE: “Bolna…”

TRAITS: Suffers from blushes when one stares at him
Has recently taking a liking to trendy T-shirts and Jeans

SPOTTED: On Kandivali platform No. 1

ACHIEVEMENTS: Yet to snatch the Patni status from Kandu (Pata nahi.. Thakur iss praani se kab impress hoga??? – Thakurji kuch kar yaar iska)

Our vision after 10 years: Married (Happily or unhappily) to a gal of his Guruji’s (fathers’) choice with 1 dozen Junior Sanjeetwas (most likely by the end of next year... not children.. atleast the marriage)

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GENUS: Shirish

AKA: Anna, Shetty

Likes to call himself as: Anna

MOST USED LINE: Naansense

TRAITS: Taang Khinchne mein Maahir
Possesses a good sense of humor (Uses it to a very good effect)
Changing jobs at will (Note for his managers: If you believe in loyalty, get a dog)
Sabki Raaton ki Neend Haraam Karna (Many are still unaware of his 4:00 a.m. show)
Doesn’t like to be formal or be respected (Does not believe in Izzat)
Believes only in arranged Marriage (Gals… Sorry to disappoint you…)

SPOTTED: Searching profiles on Orkut

ACHIEVEMENTS: Orkut world ka betaaj baadshah

Our vision after 10 years: Inventor of a dating site called Annapanna.

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GENUS: Tarun

AKA: Ambe, Mand Comps, Adopted by Telecom, Ambelal, Mango

Likes to call himself as: (Girls--- your suggestions are welcome)

MOST USED LINE: Doesn’t talk… Only sends multicast SMSes

TRAITS: Fond of Eating and Sleeping (Our group’s Kumbakaran) Gals here is a tip for you… The way to Tarun’s heart is through his stomach... (Hurry up gals…. Offer open till Tarun lasts) Loves driving cars (Be it Maruti 800 or Scorpio) Yet to drive Rehan’s Innova ;-)
Loves any kind of friendship with gals… (I mean Phone, Chat, etc.) So, all you gals welcome
Always ACTING busy with one thing or the another
Was the unofficial Casanova of the college (I know all the gals will agree…)

SPOTTED: Mostly seen around with girls (Or should we say that girls are seen around him)

ACHIEVEMENTS: Gained 50 kilos in less than 3 months (and the act continues...)

Our vision after 10 years: Sporting a mature gentleman look with a pot belly and still trying to figure out which girl he should marry…